It's March. Guess what that means.
10 rehearsals to SYF. 23 rehearsals to An Evening With Friends.
200+ days to Alevels.
Scary.
It's strange, really, how there's so much emphasis put on the big exams, when after the results come out and you make your next step in life, those grades don't really matter anymore. Of course those grades are a gauge to measure your intelligence and how well you can process information, and of course you always have to push those boundaries in order to improve, but it ends up as a competition between yourself and other people.
Sometimes it's a competition between siblings, on who can do better, but this is an unfair comparison because the test papers and difficulty level changes every year, who's to say that you can make a direct comparison on all fronts?
Sometimes it's a competition between students, but then again, not everyone is going to go down the same path in life, sure you may be aiming for the same grades now, but after that what? We're not here just to get glory, make money and die. (as quoted from the movie Facing the Giants) I think that when we do those exams, we do it as a competition against ourselves, and if our grades are better than the previous ones we got, it is an improvement that takes you another step forward in life, it is a success in itself, and we should take joy in these baby steps.
In our fast-changing world today, there's not much room for baby steps. People go for the quick, the instant, the most efficient solution. Perhaps the phrase "slow and steady wins the race" isn't so relevant in the corporate world anymore. People want workers who can think fast, assess the situation, and execute efficient and appropriate responses to the benefit of the team, the company, the enterprise, the industry, the country, and the world. The concept of a "work-life balance" is introduced, and the people who can manage such a thing are lauded and respected, for managing to handle both their family life and their careers, at the expense of their own happiness and dreams they harboured when they were young. Soon, it may become a routine, and life becomes a blur of work and home, with no time left in between. Is it no wonder that we rank 90th out of 151 countries polled in a 2012 poll on happiness?
Me, I still try to keep my dreams alive, but I fear that the real world's going to catch up with me soon and give me a wake up call that keeps me conscious 24/7, effectively eliminating any chance of dreaming again. (literally and metaphorically speaking) The preconceived notions of competitiveness in education (which we are lucky to have, considering that many people in the world dont have a chance to further their education) leads to more competitiveness in society, and propels people to find ways and means of staying ahead of other people's game, sometimes at the expense of others. This isn't the way humans were crafted to behave. It's something called a conscience, and common sense tells you that in helping others, you are helping yourself as well, one way or another. You may or may not see it, but the effects are nonetheless there, and it adds value to your life in the long run. If we want to change the way people think, then we've got to do it as one people, one society. It is a seemingly impossible and daunting task, a burden that many people will be glad not to bear, but just think, how would you want your society to be like in generations to come? selfish, unfriendly, power-hungry, indifferent? or kind, caring, helpful, trusting? To make a change, be a change.
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I think a week of term exams just gp-fied my brain. doesn't help that the GP compre was about success and failure. On hindsight, I really hope I can get out of SSP. Not that it wasn't helping, but because the LT is so cold that it doesnt facilitate studying at all. I thought I studied super hard for terms, giving up every semblence of a life that I had for it, but somehow, it never seems enough when I see the questions. Am I going to be stuck in this endless cycle of mediocrity? I will need to break out. The problem, then, lies not in the questions asked in the exams, but in the ability to pick myself after feeling demoralised every single time I leave the classroom, leave the tuition centre, leave the heritage room. Every time I ask myself what went wrong in my study, why I cannot answer the apparently straightforward basic questions with some semblence of decency. My family tells me it is the way I think, that my process of thought is defective. Teachers say it is because I don't study (oh trust me, I do, whether it is enough is another question). All my life I've been proving people wrong, can I do the same for Alevels? When people say it is a feat that cannot be done, so far, I've proved them wrong every time. I guess I have to steel myself to fight against all these factors that keep saying I will never succeed, because sweet will be the victory when I do.
And if our God is for us, who can be against us?
Sometimes you may feel like you want the world to slow down, if only for a few seconds, for people to properly think through what they're doing with their lives, who are they blessing during their lifetimes, why they're doing the things they do, where it's taking them, how they changed the world, and whether we've lost sight of humanity in the pursuit of material gains, but here's a wake up call for you too--
the world waits for no one.
eternal-flame blogged at 11:01 PM
Thursday, January 31, 2013
white flag - chris tomlin
This is how the conversation in my brain goes:
voice 1: nevermind. there's gonna be another chance, another opportunity
voice 2: what if that was your chance? what if that opportunity was meant for you?
voice 1: nauh it's okay. I'll let others have it. I got work to focus on.
voice 2: but this could determine the choices you make in future? like, a trial run of what you've been thinking of for years but never had the guts to do it.
voice 1: my priority is alevels. you gotta sacrifice something, and its not gonna be your studies.
voice 2: would you stand up for yourself for once? you can stand up to vulgarities, to every other crap stuff that happens, and you cant even go up to the person and tell her that you want to participate??? it's not going to kill you
voice 1: I can't. I need to study. anyway, I can always do my own music at home.
voice 2: but nobody will ever hear it. how're you gonna consider it as a career choice if you don't attempt to create something in the first place? or let others have a listen at what goes around in your head?
voice 1: there'll be opportunities. just, not now.
voice 2: then when?
voice 1: I don't know. everyone seems a better musician than me. better at guitar, better at ukelele, better at singing, better at piano.
voice 2: then you're always going to tell yourself that. stop secondguessing and just do it. you're already so accomplished, you don't need to be jealous of others, but accept the talents of others, move on. music is meant to be shared. if not now, when?
----AND REPEAT ---
yeah that's how it's going now. betcha never thought this battle could be so metaphorically messy and bloody.
so today they were talking about how they needed people to perform some premovie segment performance. they were going over a list of people discussing who they could possibly ask to do it. I was sitting right there the whole time. it's like pounding on a cell door. no matter how much you want to break that door down, it's still going to be there, rigid, seemingly unmovable.
I dont have the best voice. people tell me its too strained when I sing pop, and the sound's always drowned out by something else.
I dont have the best guitar skills. I can't improvise nice chords, my strumming's unstable.
I dont have the best ukelele skills. I play by ear, not by chords, and its hard when jamming.
I dont have the best piano skills. I know people who can improvise jazz chords so well it make you go dizzy.
but what I have is some kind of innate ability to hear voices and parts. To pick apart a piece of music and tell you roughly how the music goes in each part.
I hear melodies of different songs fitting together like a glove.
I hear the harmonies even when I'm not singing.
The harmonies continue in my head long after the music stops.
but nobody's asked me for anything. not harmonies, not melodies, not accompaniment.
even when I'm there and ready for any query that might come, they choose to call someone else with an established reputation for an aptitude in those things. why not ask a willing someone who's close by?
I dont have to show off. I have nothing to show off. whatever I have, I trust that it comes from God. and if it comes for God, and He tells us that He gives us various talents for a purpose, I wouldnt like His gifts to go to waste.
I just need a breakthrough.
should I wait for the opportunity to come? or should I take a step forward, and risk embarrassment by overestimating myself or risk the judgement of other people thinking that they could do a better job?
I'm not asking for people to pity me and to let me have a shot just because they feel sorry for me. I want there to be an opportunity because others think I am capable of producing the best darndest mix or performance. The opportunity to share music on my own turf. No interruptions, no opposing.
ultimately, if anything is to happen,
I just hope that I may see God's hand working through all this and recognise Him. To take ownership of what He's given to me and do whatever task He's set out to the best of my ability.
voice 1: fat chance. keep dreaming.
voice 2: take a deep breath, and move forward.
I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for you are who you are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
you hold in your hand
you never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
praise you in this storm - casting crowns
eternal-flame blogged at 11:49 PM
Monday, January 21, 2013
Storm Warning - Hunter Hayes
So I didn't pass my promos. I didn't pass my supp papers. I didn't get promoted. My report card says "FAILED (ADVANCED)".
The final report card?
CCCSSE.
I ain't afraid to admit it.
Thought that I'd at least pass, what with the sacrificing of my school holidays just to study for the papers on the first week of school. Missed both by a 1.75% and 1.25% margin respectively.
Its a wake up call.
After enduring several lectures by level head, bio teacher, econs teacher, gp teacher, mother, sisters, and likely later on, father, and struggling to hold tears in because everyone's so genuinely concerned and I feel like I'm letting them down. I don't want to let them down, because they've done so much for me. All I can do, then, is press on.
It's not the end of the world. There's still time to turn this thing around.
With God's grace and strength, I will make it through this.
With God's strength and guidance, I have conquered the social barriers I experienced last year. Whatever hurt me last year can no longer hurt me this year. It's even become laughable and trivial. I have bigger dreams beyond the classroom. I have bigger plans and a bigger life than this one. It's not too late. It's not too late.
I have to pick myself up now and carry on.
If others put in 100%, I have to give 200%. just to catch up with them. not because I'm hardworking.
of all the crazy shit that happens everyday, I have to put that aside. They can afford the fun. I can't.
God can open doors that no one can shut, He can shut doors that no one can open, but for every door and window He closes, He'll open up an even bigger one, to let His light shine brighter.
God, I commit this year to you.
Amen.
eternal-flame blogged at 9:48 PM
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Song 2 You - Leon Thomas III ft. Victoria Justice
How do I ever cram what's been happening in the past few months into one blog post?
I'm going to try anyway.
it's been crazy eventful. beyond whatever I've experienced in my whole life. no kidding.
Choir tour to Krakow and Vienna was amazing. Singing every day, experiencing the circle effect, performing in an international choral competition. scenery, beautiful, something you dont get to see in Singapore is the undulating hills and miles and miles of continuous greenery that never seem to end. The houses are so quaint, and the designs of the houses make them seem like they just popped out of a storybook.
Auschwitz was a different story. It was sobering, and it's really awful what humans can do to other humans. The cavern of hair and the display with all the luggages was the creepiest. next in line was the room with all the shoes. and the pictures. Humanity at its worst. But it's still happening today in other countries, no matter how developed the world is now, there are always going to be people who are suffering terribly. The fact still remains that concentration camps still exist in the world. We just never hear of them. And that's the worst part.
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You think that these things might happen in primary school, secondary school, but you never think it would happen in JC. All these immature actions and extra words, no matter how small, does its job in breaking down your psyche one line, one action at a time. Honestly, if you dont like me, have the guts to say it to my face. Dont just hide behind other people who follow you like a herd of sheep and influence them to do the same. If isolating me is giving you some sort of boost to your self-esteem, and you need to bring people down in order to feel good, I'm sorry to have to say, in the long run, no one's going to like you. All these extra comments, tagged on to the ends of ordinary lines of conversation, serves no purpose but to try and eke out a reaction from me. I'm happy to say, it's not working on me. Don't waste your energy trying to bring me down, because I can't be bothered anymore. I have awesome friends outside. I have Jesus with me all the time. What more could I need?
I am thankful to God, for giving me a new perspective on the people around me, letting me see the positive side of people. I am a new creation. I am not afraid of you.
That being said, the number of superficial people in the world has reached an all time high. come on dudes, dont expect every female to be a supermodel when you're no chiobu yourself. What makes you think a girl's going for a serious relationship with you if all you care about are her looks and how high she rates from 1-10? unless the girl's a player herself. then good luck to you both.
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It's been a confusing time, crazy eventful, yet I found what it meant to have true friends, ones who would write their corresponding breaks on your timetable, ones who dont mind you crashing your class during break, ones who would study with you and force you to study also and help you no matter what.
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it's promos in 6 days time. 70% of my grades depend on it. I dont want to retain. I can do this. Just focus now.
eternal-flame blogged at 12:27 AM
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
all of me - thepianoguys
I still cant believe it. 3 years of watching the ACJC choir perform in the ECH, and this year I was actually there performing, albeit with a different batch of people. Awesome experience, even though walking on stage I lost my shoe (thanks a lot debs!) (oh that was slightly embarrassing) but managed to get over it, and apart from the 1 1/2 hours of waiting for the second half after we finished the first 4 pieces. I imagined myself sitting in the audience and watching this group of people perform. Honestly, I daresay I'd be kinda amazed, enough so that I wouldn't have noticed all the mistakes going on in the pieces. I'd never been in this kind of complicated set up, with walk-ins and running backstage, and joining people who were already onstage kinda thing. My facial expressions were never a problem till this year, and it's made me ever so conscious of the effort that goes into the performance.
So now that concert is over, I'd look forward to the next thing, the 2012 ACJC choir tour to Krakow, Poland and Vienna, Austria. Gotta be at the airport at 1030 later and suspense is slowly building. at 2am I'll be on a plane to a land I've never seen, and of course I think I'll knock out on the plane. (2am are you kidding me? I'll never stay awake.) After that 9 predictably awesome days of performing, competing and sightseeing. Luggage half packed, and a pile of worksheets on my table is kinda giving me extremely obvious hints that I shouldn't be blogging right about now.
And for the record, I will be uncontactable in the next 9 days. Any form of contact will be met with stubborn silence. (hey look, alliteration!)
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And on a subject entirely wholly unrelated to me(seriously, I'm not involved), it suddenly occurs to me that the only kind of love you can rely on is God's love, cause it'll never end. Ever.
The one thing that'll always be there.
The one thing that will never leave you.
The one thing that's so secure.
The one thing that will never let you go.
The one thing that never doubts.
The one thing who will stay with you forever.
All that's left is for you to trust in it.
God's love is so amazing, need I say more?
So logically, heartbreak doesn't exist, because God's love is always there to fill the void in your heart, crikey it's more than enough to fill your whole heart.
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6 1/2 hours to airport time. C'mon let's get going!!!
eternal-flame blogged at 4:08 PM
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
payphone - maroon 5 (extremely clean version)
I was just reading through previous posts, and realised that I forgot to clear something up.
turns out the guy-girl twin thing was a troll.
yes, I finally know what a troll is.
and realised I've been trolled a lot.
found that out in the past few months.
cheat my feelings.
I actually felt cool for once.
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Regardless, today was my first time ponning lecture. Chem lecture, of all things. because we didnt get to the LT fast enough (we were strolling) and it was the scary lecturer I-dont-know-her-name. Anyway we were too scared to enter the LT, so breaktime for us. I dont know whether to feel thrilled or guilty. I did reflect on the fact that I probably wouldn't have understood anything she was saying even if I attended the lecture. On that note, not turning up for lecture would probably not be such a bad thing. A lesser evil, one might exaggerate.
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and there comes a point where you just need to shut up. Please, just stop telling me what I should or shouldn't do in jc. All those lectures you give me on how to behave, those are yours. I'm so different from you, please stop conforming me to your ideals of jc life. Just because your JC life was "the best 2 years of my life", doesn't mean that mine is. All I can do is make the best out of my jc experience. We all can't have the same experiences as you. You told me that if I didnt get attached by the end of jc1, it's a bad thing. What a load of rotten potatoes. I believe in God's plan wholeheartedly, and I'll leave these things up to Him. cause it's the only thing that I know will never want to hurt me. You regret your jc relationship, well that's your fault. Now you're telling me to have one, anyone else see the irony here? I'm not the one worried about these kind of things. If it actually happens, it will not be because of this reason.
and please, stop limiting my dreams and telling me that I can't handle so many things.
like always, I will conquer what I want to do with God on my side. He gives me the strength to get through all my activities, I don't see why that's a problem. when I have questions, I'll go and ask you, but please stop interrupting my study isolation time by walking into the room and giving me another lecture about jc life I really don't need to hear. I know you're trying to be helpful, but honestly, it's not helping.
I'm not the one who walked out of choir after 3 months and is still proud of it to this day. (choir's the best thing in my life right now, please dont be such a killjoy)
I'm not the one who failed napfa test in jc1 and got paced by 2 guys during retest. (gold oh yeahhh!!!)
I'm not the one who thinks that getting attached in jc's like a rite of passage (such bullshit)
I'm not the one who knows how to school her facial expressions so well that she could be a chameleon.
Common sense tells you that I have very different viewpoints. Get over it.
Jeremiah 29:11 never meant as much to me as it does now.
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6 days to concert.
7 days to choir tour to krakow, poland and vienna, austria.
so exciteddddd!!!!!!
oh yeahhh!!!!
ACJC CHOIR PRESENTS...
AN EVENING WITH FRIENDS
28 May, Monday
7.30pm, Esplanade Concert Hall
tickets: $20, $25, $29
Get your tickets from Sistic now before it sells out!
gather friends and family to come for this awesome concert, and hear the choir before it flies off to Poland!
eternal-flame blogged at 9:18 PM
Friday, May 18, 2012
the unknown - kalei gamiao [ukelele]
Life is full of chapters, just because you have a bad one doesn't mean the book is finished.
y'know, I never would have thought that twitter might be of any help anywhere in my life (honestly, traffic and news updates are all I intentionally look for; any other things I come across are purely incidental) but that quote was quite fascinating.
well what can I say, it's been a very... eventful week. Like always. Yet different. Can't help but think that the status quo has somehow shifted slightly, not in my favour. I know I can't expect them to like me, and I'm trying not to let it get me down. Scrap that, I'm not going to let it get me down. It's not the end of the world. There are bigger things in life than trying to please people you naturally can't clique with, and no matter how hard you try you're never going to get any closer, until you finally give it up and go find people you CAN talk to.
Enough of that. No more brooding over this useless topic of contention.
In 5 years' time you're going to think that this was a waste of brain cells to be thinking about this. Brain cells that could've been used for other things, like catching up on tutorials, and counting the blessings you already have.
In 10 years' time, you wont be remembering this part of your life anymore; you would've moved on to bigger things.
In 15 years' time, this would've become so minute and insignificant that it's a negligible part of your life.
Or the tides might change anytime. Just have to be prepared for it. Someday.
Y'know how water has an uncanny knack of seeping through cracks? so maybe one day in the desert, when others are dying of thirst, they might stumble upon a hidden oasis, with a reservoir of water, the water that seeped through cracks in the rocks for years unnoticed. maybe then, they would notice it, in their time of need.
But perhaps not now.
It hinges on God's timing.
and that, I count on, and trust in with all my heart.
He will never give me anything I can't handle.
I will come out of this stronger.
eternal-flame blogged at 12:02 AM
Thursday, May 3, 2012
one in a million - backstreet boys
I shut up in class today. nothing to do, just sleep.
easiest way to ease awkwardness.
easiest way to recharge, to get back lost sleep so prevalent in JC.
easiest way to exercise restraint over reactions or words you might regret later.
so sleep is definitely therapeutic.
and then you wake up to find that the lecture's over.
and then you sink into the background again.
then when you see your other friends in other classes, somehow all the energy comes out.
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enough with this emoing.
because I believe that I have more things to be happy about than to be sad.
I can't list the things I'm happy about, cause they're too numerous to count.
sometimes, the little joys in life outweigh the overwhelming sadness of whatever you might be facing, be it stress, or communication problems or whatever.
then you thank God for the little things that keep you sane, things that keep you from going over the edge. but I'm exaggerating, of course.
dayemmm I should sleep. so tired that I cant concentrate on homework anymore.
eternal-flame blogged at 10:41 PM
safe and sound - taylor swift ft. the civil wars
so couple of things happened this week so far that I find really tests me on how much I've changed since secondary school.
let's go back to sunday, when of all days, I was rushing homework and tutorials and econs essays, when this idiot comes up and starts annoying the rotten crap out of me, by continuing The Joke Of The Price Floor Hypothesis and rapping eminem's "Not Afraid" 10cm away from my face very loudly. So close that the sound was ringing through my ears and giving me a headache I really didn't need. I dealt with it. Didn't retaliate so much. Tried not to. lucky that the idiot went off soon after that, but I couldnt concentrate anymore. I could feel the blood boiling away, so I went to the dt. Raged it all out on gc's poor guitar. By the time I was done, I didnt feel like whacking anymore, a good thing, I guess. then came the meltdown I'm glad no one except megan and gc saw. All the stress just built up and exploded out. I am not this weak. Never going to be, never will be. Sometimes, you just got to know when to stop kachiau-ing people, 'cause you pushed it too far that day. This will never happen again, comprehende pas?
3 years.
and a whole lot of God's help.
I won't go back there again.
I don't want it to become second nature.
Anyway, it fascinates me that in a race where choir is the only non-sports cca participating, we still manage to get 4th (or 3rd)!!!!! feeling's awesome, like you just conquered some barrier made up of everyone else's expectations. It still surprises me that I could find people to le pak with at the bleachers.
What a loner.
GP resource book due tmr. 0 articles done, 14 more to go.
dammit.
on a side note, it's 12.40am. I should go sleep.
and crap through the bio test tmr.
eternal-flame blogged at 12:45 AM
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
where I belong - building 429
lately, I've been beginning to think that choir is what keeps me sane through the week of school.
put it this way, my class is not exactly the most feminine one around, and it's guy-dominated. while this proves to provide me with interesting new perspectives on the world around me, it's also proving to be a downer when the things you like arent the things they're interested in, so that means no more singing in class (though I'm gonna change that), no playing guitar (no guitar ensem people). Instead, there's ultimately lame jokes which reduce the teachers to facepalm and crude guy jokes that girls didnt really need to know. While these random, or otherwise crude jokes, do add entertainment and life to school life, sometimes it's more than this person's innocent ears can handle, which include sentences peppered with f-words spouted every 30 seconds. but hey, that's JC life.
The fact still remains that I cant hear anything I say when I talk to them, because it's a genetically proven fact that guys' voices are louder than girls'. and even when I talk to girls I cant make out half the things I say. Go figure.
There are people whose voices one can hear anytime of the day in any number of decibels present in the environment -- meaning that they can be heard in the most noisy places.
Then there are those whose voices you can hear only in the library, or deserted places with little people.
I think I belong to the latter category. But the funny thing is, if you don't try to make your voice heard, sometimes your ears work better, like taking a backseat and listening to the conversation all around, and getting a better gauge of your surroundings. something I inherently apparently have to learn to do. (which I dont really see the point)
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and I have a sore throat. excellent. my voice is out of commission for the next few days. yippee.
I have a new medley/mashup!
I'm freaking tired. who knew that JC was going to be this tiring every day?
sleeping in class is bad. but inevitable. heck, I need to catch up on work already. I shouldn't be blogging. not like anyone blogs or reads this anyway.
eternal-flame blogged at 11:02 PM
Monday, March 19, 2012
where I belong - building 429
TUM TUMBATUMBATUMBATUMBATUMBATUMBATUMBA TUMBANGGGG PRESO.
yep that's the ACJC choir for you.
and which I joined!!!!!!
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anyway, fun-o-rama's this saturday!!!!!
excited for it, but my class is nowhere near ready for it.
so far, no banner, no games trial, I have no idea what's happening. My efforts to get people involved are so far futile.
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I never realised it before, but some video games have really nice orchestral soundtracks.
like skyrim. haha just discovered it!
wheeeeee!!!!
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this is proving to be an extremely random post.
which brings me to the part where I say random things.
like how someone's growing up wayyyy too fast.
endless lectures about time management every other day. sometimes, advice may be well-given, but sometimes, just sometimes, you need to make your own mistakes to learn from them.
just maybe.
and there's always going to be some things you can't explain, cause they're out of your generation.
but it's amazing how much a person can change.
and that each step you take brings you closer somewhere else.
eternal-flame blogged at 8:57 PM
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
fight inside - red
Wow. just, wow. I type this every single time I make a blog post, but seriously, this is the longest blog hiatus ever, I think.
How can I ever squeeze what's happened in the last few months in a single blog post?
I have a lot to be thankful for,
a lot to be worried about,
a lot to be happy for,
a lot to beat myself up for,
a lot to restrain myself from.
gee, that's a lot of 'a lot's.
but hey, that's life.
I have God to be thankful for, because of His amazing power, I entered ACJC with 3 points nett, 7 points raw. That was a shock. I couldn't believe it, and 5mins after I got the results I was still staring at the results slip looking for the line that says "L1R5:___" and then realising I had to count it myself. and subsequent minutes was spent gazing beyond the hall ceiling thanking God like crazy.
For a bonus, I did get a gorgeous blue squier electric guitar and fender amp. but that's for everyone in the family to share too. Though it does get a spot at my bedside. Of course, there's also the spin-off series that kind of leads off to the fact that my mom just took up electric guitar lessons.
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Let me start JC life by saying that after being in a girls' school for 10years, being in a co-ed school is a pretty huge difference. You suddenly realise how innocent a life you led up to this moment, about the things that you missed out. But hey, everyone's got a different experience, and I love my MG one, the one where you could anyhow sit, change in class, mess with people who are roughly the same size as you(ok not so applicable in my case, but comparatively better), walk 50metres to the canteen, where 4 floors is the limit, where the concourse has damn good acoustics, the library had a better range of fantasy books, and where you knew the place like the back of your hand, in general.
Orientation started, and I was steeling myself. Not gonna expect anything, just be nice, start over again. Smile, dont retaliate, be prepared for anything that comes your way. Intro lectures were pretty boring, sat for a lot of talks, etc. and then mass dance and couple dance followed. ok I was expecting mass dance, but not couple dance. partnered some skinny cat high guy (who, incidentally, is taller than he looks) (and whom I arm-wrestled with debatable consequences). Got into a random argument with an SJI guy, something about music, and the scandal was born. voila, sheesh. 4 years of church guys being scared of me, 2 weeks into JC and I have a scandal.
such bright shining genius.
worse thing was that it continued for the next 2-3 weeks. I was wondering when it was ever going to get old and get dropped. but apparently not. anyway, I'm happy it's solved and it's over. I hope. oh but there's a new scandal in my OG, seems to me like my OG's only alive when shit-stirring. pretty glad it's not me.
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School's started, for real, and my class has a serious gender imbalance. 7 girls to 19 guys, seriously are you kidding me!??!?!?!?! I can't deny it's been entertaining, because it's amazing the kind of random things that guys can come up with that you'd never hear from in a girls' school. And of course there's the fact that I will probably either have very strong neck muscles or a constant neck cramp at the end of 2 years. seriously, why do guys have to be so freaking tall? I suppose I'll have to steel myself for a barrage of height-related jokes in the coming years, and prevent myself from retaliating via whacking. I've already broken my resolution of not whacking people, I dont want to break it again.
if you ask for details, here's what I would tell you:
some idiot(oh darn I said I wouldnt call anyone idiot or retard anymore) made fun of my height and I whacked him on the shoulder. He spent the next 3 hours cradling his arm and looking in pain. Other guys come up to me and tell me that "omg you know how hard you hit him, he went to the toilet to puke and to cry" and "he can't go for dance practice this afternoon, and btw, the dance captain wants to see you". Such a conspiracy. The worse part is that they were so convincing that the people who werent a part of the conspiracy fell for it too, but the joke was on me.
=.=
Jokers.
and after I found out I got tricked, I whacked him again, and it was pretty welcoming to hear the sound reverberate around the chem lab. and then I whacked every single guy who was involved.
Not funny.
Anyway, it was a queer regret that I partially felt sorry and partially didnt. The most appropriate thing to do would be to completely erase it from memory, and preferably from history, although the latter is impossible, and ignoring something doesnt mean it's not there.
But what can I say, I will make sure that I wont give people a chance to trick me like this again, not even for fun. In case you didn't know, I dont take tricks very well. Geniuses. Other people would brush it off, and I would try and brush it off and hope it succeeds and it becomes an incident of nonchalance.
I hope.
kinda sucks when you're in the middle of it.
kinda sucks when you can't control it.
kinda sucks when you're trying to curb it, but what happens in the moment is so unpredictable, even for yourself.
I won't whack anyone anymore (I hope.)
on the bright side, I just discovered 3 different sets of twins. one pair of guy twins, one pair of girl twins, and a pair of guy-girl twins!!! cooooool!!!!!!
eternal-flame blogged at 8:40 PM
Sunday, November 13, 2011
praise you in this storm - casting crowns
2 more days of 2 mcq papers and then I'M FREE.
and I'm in slackers' mood already.
so anyway, today after church, went out with about 17 other sec4s.
went plaza sing for lunch,
then went to play pool.
it was my first time playing pool.
and I obviously suck at it.
haha.
can't expect much from my first time, but still was quite fun.
and quite funny.
try imagining a couple of normally shy guys jumping up and down and dancing around when they manage to get the balls into the holes.
but they'll forever be pro-er than me, definitely.
so I really shouldnt be saying this.
hehhhh.
so in other words, most of the sec4 level got stuck at the bus stop in the rain waiting for 171 to take us back to church for camp meeting.
after meeting, went to waffletown for dinner, and got caught in the rain.
in other words, I got drenched.
Running in the rain is exhilarating. And fun.
one small umbrella is not going to shelter two girls, so I just ran.
There. my justification.
hehhh.
ok I'd better go study.
it's the last lap.
better make the best out of it.
eternal-flame blogged at 8:28 PM
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
disappear - everfound
it's one day into exams, and I'm here to catch up on whatever eventful things have been going on in the last few weeks, in one post. because I can't just let these things go without saying.
so a couple of weeks ago, on one fine saturday evening, I sprained my hand during swimming class, by dint of dropping a 2kg brick.
how, you might ask, might I have accomplished this amazing feat while OUT of the water?
well, I got out of the pool to go take a brick from the storeroom, and because everyone swims faster than me, so they all got their bricks first, the storeroom floor was already all wet by the time I reached there. so being the genius I am, I slipped on the wet floor on my way out of the storeroom, and let go of the brick. The brick, succumbing to gravity, dropped faster than I let go, hence bending 3 fingers back and leaving me in pain, and with an instant pass from swimming for the rest of the lesson.
of course then it got worse. cause on the thursday after that, one part of my hand turned green, where it was black before. and swollen. come to think of it, it still hasnt healed completely, after so many weeks.
so that was the most eventful thing that happened so far.
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isn't it funny how it's in the middle of exams now, and you're already thinking of what to do after? for example, after exams, a disney marathon is planned, plus watching a whole lot of other movies, when really, you should be concentrating on what exam's next, no matter that you currently have no life to speak of except study, sleep, eat, and pray you don't fall sick.
in other words,
shut up and go sleep, eat, or study.
now.
oh and did I mention how I managed to mash up the transformers soundtrack, narnia soundtrack, and pirates of the caribbean soundtrack on piano?
hint: it's in D minor. (at least, my arrangement is)
damn happy now. xDDDD
but still needs work on transitions.
eternal-flame blogged at 9:14 PM
Saturday, September 24, 2011
superman - joe brooks
wow nearly a month since my last post.
but this will be my last post (probably) until o'levels end.
yep you heard it right. (or rather, seen it right)
i'm gonna attempt to go on computer hiatus, except for occasional msn, I should think.
idk, dont really feel the urge to use the computer, like there's always gonna be something else that I could do that doesnt involve the computer. like I could be making a difference elsewhere, whether to my grades, or to people, or whatever, really, with the time that I spend on the com. of course it doesnt mean I'm gonna disappear entirely, that'll be impossible and utterly irrational.
anyway, quick update, really theres been not much happening, unless you count that we're 2 weeks into a 5-week revision cycle and I'm barely into study mode. strange how time can fly, and suddenly you realise that spending 2 months studying (or trying to) is not a big thing, that one month before o'levels, starting to study is really too late. miracles may happen during this last stretch, but those are limited, after all. but who knows what could happen during these last 30-odd days, and plus another 3 weeks of dooms-weeks.
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and on a completely different note, during swimming today, I heard something really funny that totally caused all of us to collapse in laughter, pretty much, and here it is! :
so there's a new guy called setoyam (no kidding, that's his name), and one of the other guys forgot his name, so he went after him calling him "stomata! stomata!"
ok it's a lame bio joke, but to the bio students, it was downright hilarious. still is, actually.
eternal-flame blogged at 9:48 PM
